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Giving + Receiving Compliments

Journal prompt for ya — Write about a compliment you wish you’d receive… why?

This may seem a bit vain, but think about it — how do you want people to perceive you? Everyone wants to be liked + while it definitely may feel awkward to be showered with compliments… deep inside, it feels good. I looked up people’s favorite compliment they’ve ever received ++ these resonated with me…

“I’ve never met someone like you before.”

“You have inspired me + changed my life.”

“You are so full of life.”

“Your energy is contagious.”

“You are so generous + thoughtful.”

“You are going to be a great mother some day.”

“I want to be your friend.”

We don’t say enough kind things [to ourselves ++ to others], thank people enough, or genuinely compliment others — I’m not sure why. I think it can stem from a variety of reasons — lack of awareness, feeling awkward, insecurities, + even competitiveness.

At the National Retreat, girls had the opportunity to share their CHAARG journey + one of the girls said: “I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you.”

I broke down. I will never forget that moment. [Thank you, Carol.]

A couple weeks ago my sister texted me:

I struggle between selfish + self-care a lot — be it with CHAARG, friends, my personal life. ++ in my pursuit of trying to find the balance, I become guilty because I feel like I’m not doing enough for others. I feel like there’s never enough time to say the things I want to say… ++ do the things I want to do for others. I often forget that a simple text goes a long way — I don’t need to buy someone a grand gift + slave over finding their address in a secret way. This text that I got from my sister was a perfect reminder of that. [Thank you, Maria.]

Yesterday, I was at the grocery store with a friend who said he wasn’t feeling good. ++ I asked if he wanted me to make him a salad, because he probably just had a headache since he hadn’t eaten all day. He said something along the lines of, you are way too nice — where did you get your thoughtfulness from?

I started to actually think about it… who did I get it from? I started tearing up. It’s because I care. Does anyone care about me like I care about them? I know this sounds dramatic + I know it’s not true… ++ sounds selfish//ungrateful, but it’s a narrative I play in my head. I get attached to people — sometimes too much. One of my greatest fears is: If I’m not needed, then I’m not loved. ++ even as of lately, I don’t belong anywhere.

I feel a little bit insane sharing these things, but I want to be vulnerable + open up to you. Everyone struggles in some way. Even the people that seem to *have it all*. I am so appreciative of my life + the blessings God has given me… but, fears creep in.

The compliment I wish to receive is: I love you for who you are. You don’t need to change anything. You are doing enough. I’m grateful to have you in my life.

++ a huge HUG to go with the compliment. The power of touch is magical.

Lately in yoga, right before savasana, I wrap myself in a tight ball — like I’m giving myself a huge hug ++ I say those words to myself: “I love you, Elisabeth.” ++ it really does help. While compliments are wonderful, we should not seek outside validation.

All this being said: Give someone a compliment. Maybe even more importantly, give yourself a compliment. ++ please know: I love you for who you are. AND, you belong. I am always here for you.

Rooting for you always,
++ Elisabeth

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CHAARG is a health + fitness community on 52 college campuses. We liberate girls from the elliptical ++ show them that fitness can [+ should!] be fun by partnering with local fitness studios, as well as creating our own FitPlans [virtual workout programs]. Our mission is to empower every CHAARG girl to become the best version of herself. Oh, ++ we have a CHAARG Shop that’s pretty cool, too. ; )

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